I Didn't Celebrate the 4th

I can still vividly picture the expressions on my daughters' faces when I would come see them. They weren't so excited like they used to be. They were confused. They didn't understand why Daddy wasn't home to tuck them in at night anymore.

Last year I did not celebrate the 4th of July with my wife and children because we were separated. Things weren't looking good at all. I had given up hope in myself. I had given up hope in freedom from my addiction and past. I believed my family was better off without me in the home.

Fast forward a year and everything has been transformed. I come home each day from work excited to see those 3 precious faces. I laugh, talk, grow, and of course argue with my Incredible(as in The Incredibles) wife. Things are kinda as they were but definitely not. So much healing has taken place in me and my heart spills over with gratitude for God's life-altering grace. We also could not have reached this place of healing without support from mentors, friends, and just plain loving people.

Let me quote a line from one of my spoken word poems:

I was too close to worldly things and that makes your vision blurry. But being too close to Christ can only make you see clearly.

Today, I celebrate freedom in our country. And today I celebrate the freedom in my heart, and clarity

of mind, that my soul craved for years. I'm celebrating that fact that I can be independent in this country, yet dependent on Him. Oh yeah, I'm a little excited about my father-in-law's BBQing too!

Have a happy and memory filled 4th of July (better known as Independence Day),

Mark J.